The Big Other is the symbolic order, the anonymous "they" whose gaze shapes how we present ourselves even in private. An internalized audience, a set of expectations that we perform for without even being able to name who's watching. Even when I write in private, in secret, in my journal, I am still not fully myself. Even this note is again just a performance of my awareness of the gaze to the gaze.

now that i'm approaching my mid-20s i must run a marathon.

May 3, 2026 10:42 PM

almost got everything. i'm so bad at drawing i feel like a toddler but at least i did it. i'm afraid may will be painful, but i must be brave.

May 3, 2026 6:22 PM

Apr 28, 2026 5:38 PM

Apr 28, 2026 2:00 PM

My friend said:

"""

I got enchanted by the sweet talking of a mid straight cis white man

I'm so femcoded

:pp

I understand the female experience

"""

Apr 28, 2026 11:21 AM

gave kaylee my pc so she can become a twitch streamer

Apr 27, 2026 11:45 AM

yummy

Apr 24, 2026 9:46 AM

to reiterate, i love sf!

Apr 23, 2026 9:25 AM

jane remover tix secured!!!

Apr 22, 2026 1:15 PM

got the cutest jacket at the cherry bomb market

Apr 22, 2026 9:19 AM

caught in the rain again

Apr 21, 2026 5:56 PM

i love sf so much!

Apr 20, 2026 10:48 PM

once that OR3 drops and all the girls with broken hearts heal then it will be my time

Apr 19, 2026 11:38 AM

time to suck the marrow out of life

Apr 18, 2026 7:18 AM

ughhhh stupid stupid ugly stupid im so so so upset and im more upset that i'm upset about stupid things and not actually upsetting things

Apr 17, 2026 5:22 PM

did my first open mic last night.

Apr 17, 2026 9:07 AM

i don't want to be emotionally mature i j want to throw a tantrum

Apr 17, 2026 9:03 AM

scheduled my first tattoo apt! i'm so excited!

Apr 16, 2026

at this rate there will be a wasian president before we see a woman take office

Apr 15, 2026

had russian pastries with friends, took nate to the ER, and then watched hoppers! it wasa great day!

Apr 12, 2026

went to see sebi and kimj with my friends!

Apr 11, 2026

first tattoo. when i was a kid i was up to no good climbing over a fence and it left a scar on the inside of my knee, and now a flower has bloomed from it!

Mar 29, 2026

petite bourgeois eats fruit he hasn't labored to peel

Mar 29, 2026

got my lip pierced

Mar 28, 2026