The Big Other is the symbolic order, the anonymous "they" whose gaze shapes how we present ourselves even in private. An internalized audience, a set of expectations that we perform for without even being able to name who's watching. Even when I write in private, in secret, in my journal, I am still not fully myself. Even this note is again just a performance of my awareness of the gaze to the gaze.
keep perceiving
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“having it all” set theory:

having it all is a superset of resting and refusal, therefore to have it all you must sometimes not have anything at all.

zone2 training at mietze. zone4 at feng. but now there’s a long run ahead, which way should i go?

i’ve always been putting it on btw

baby omar in red hoodie and red ferarri shoes

hi i’m bapemar, nice to meet you, do u listen to bladee? no? yeah he’s pretty niche… so can i get ur number?

omar in a bape hoodie

am i giving trade?

pic with baljaa

my illness has been cured. no more silliness. my friends have had enough. i literally don’t even care. i am not avoidant or anxious, i’m mature and healthy and reasonable and secure. right… right…

may 2026 takeaways:

  • being able to have it all is not a reason to have it all, maximalism is not my path, man’s search for meaning continues.
  • i am so grateful for my body that can run and dance and climb and move and walk. it’s a temple and i should attend to it as such.
  • it’s really easy and intoxicating to believe you’re in control of your destiny. your blessings come from Allah, remember that.
  • remember ur young ho and chopped unc, a fool and also an alien of extraordinary ability. remember to be human is to hold and embrace your contradictions.

cute-sf-giatnshat.jpeg ghengis-bong

akari japanese bistro

you gotta be kidding right?

i’m starting to think finding love in the city is more than a 2 month endeavor.

i will not be fooled by the dunya. i will not be fooled by the dunya. i will not be fooled by the dunya.

signs are only as real as we make them to be. remember the poem? u even read it out loud.

please please please june omar have self respect. don’t be a fool.

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