The Big Other is the symbolic order, the anonymous "they" whose gaze shapes how we present ourselves even in private. An internalized audience, a set of expectations that we perform for without even being able to name who's watching. Even when I write in private, in secret, in my journal, I am still not fully myself. Even this note is again just a performance of my awareness of the gaze to the gaze.
keep perceiving
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smerz was alright. opener was a bit slow. i’m glad i went alone. i’ve never done that before.

cortado and doodle

my newfound cortado preference challenges milk theory. perhaps the inflection point comes sooner than i thought.

only time will tell, so then where is she? im 23 btw if ur curious!

omg what a full weekend!

birthdays, concerts, cigarettes, running, yacking, working, a new tattoo, reading poetry, making friends with friends of friends, and so much filipino food!

another full week ahead 3 shows, my first giants game, a big release at work.

carpe diem, carpe vitam - you can really have it all.

p.s. i can’t stop wearing guyliner

now that i’m approaching my mid-20s i must run a marathon.

almost got everything. i’m so bad at drawing i feel like a toddler but at least i did it. i’m afraid may will be painful, but i must be brave.

My friend said:

"""

I got enchanted by the sweet talking of a mid straight cis white man

I’m so femcoded

:pp

I understand the female experience

"""

gave kaylee my pc so she can become a twitch streamer

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