The Big Other is the symbolic order, the anonymous "they" whose gaze shapes how we present ourselves even in private. An internalized audience, a set of expectations that we perform for without even being able to name who's watching. Even when I write in private, in secret, in my journal, I am still not fully myself. Even this note is again just a performance of my awareness of the gaze to the gaze.
keep perceiving
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i don’t want to be emotionally mature i j want to throw a tantrum

scheduled my first tattoo apt! i’m so excited!

at this rate there will be a wasian president before we see a woman take office

had russian pastries with friends, took nate to the ER, and then watched hoppers! it wasa great day!

went to see sebi and kimj with my friends!

petite bourgeois eats fruit he hasn’t labored to peel

first tattoo. when i was a kid i was up to no good climbing over a fence and it left a scar on the inside of my knee, and now a flower has bloomed from it!

got my lip pierced

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